Guilt.
I feel like a girl. Not a woman.
When shit gets hard, I convert back into that whinny, pathetic, cry-baby kid.
I need to face my insecurities and do it with some dignity for a change. Not crumble under pressure or flee at the first sign of distress.
My crippling fear of confrontation has won far too many battles. I am worth so much more than this…this gut-wrentching, hating myself feeling. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Like all the unpredictable problems that pop up in my life are Completely my doing and I am 100% percent responsible for fixing it or at least punishing myself for it.
Fuck that.
Im sick of it.
I’m not deluding myself to believe I can control my life, I’m just putting my foot down when my life tries to control me.
